Jim Swill

life is a loading screen
death is the program

aim off screen reload
unlimited rage
invincibility mode

it’s like a joke at first but then it’s all happening for real
in real time, in real life
all morbid and psychologically distorted
fireworks and birthday cards, christmas cards and valentines,
all becoming rubble of the mind


18 and up to run the fucking gauntlet
they tore down that 28 dollar sex motel
behind white castle down like it was haunted
days go by like meter minutes
withdraw deposit


ever had a dream that had it’s own landscape?
Like a place where dreams happen
at different times in the past tense,
but non linear so it could be any tense
but ironically its tense like creepy
everything hazy and artificial looking
always out of reach
like a painting of a place you’re going.
a place you’re going, but never there.


violent symbols falling inward
spinning in pixelated fire
thinking of a promise
you just forgot to keep
drive is just drive like potential is just potential
its nothing
till its something in the eyes of another

there’s an alarm outside at the intersection for blind people to cross the street
and you can hear people pushing the button over and over to make the light change faster
but its not connected to anything, just a placebo of or a symbol of control

drunk bros latenight
screaming for a taxi
dude in a bubble coat vowing to kill
nobody cares, cops don’t come here
but little kids still talk shit

remain alert, remain in motion
DEvelop inertia
punch a brick wall, pull ups on the street sign
grime deposit,
the shit is too frightening in real time
to pause it, roll with it

it doesn’t bring any sense of deeper relaxation to be
floating on a planet as a piece of conscious dust
just Super Bowl halftime latex orgy
confetti on hobo barf salad and piss
cutting up pills with credit cards for college in the debt grip

hours in a glowing box
taking the bus to the new casino
with 30 dollars to spend
enough to feel disappointment
but not to be devastated
shit show jimmy buffets margaritaville
transcend random generator
and focus on the lights
the oxygen tanks
the judge judy slot machine
the starbucks
the dealers

86 fucks given
minimum wage like
whats up bitch
and we’re all like
oh hi what can we get for you

think of ouroborus like a tattoo on a body
permanently stuck, but sometimes we forget
the cycle of the cycle of the shit you don’t remember
till ur dreaming and its happened later on



there’s caves in the desert where they hide nuclear waste
there’s caves in the desert where they stockpile american cheese
people act like they didn’t know that salsbury steak is hell grody
ponies and bone charcoal
frying sawdust in plastic fat
bloody guts become gray like oatmeal in the vat
you ever accidentally watch a death video on the internet?
you never used to be able to do that

daydream
dancing in the dark
everybody
strobing

flashing memories, time going faster
trapped in the same little gray zone
nothing feels real because nothing ever happens
and it goes on for so long
you forget what living even feels like
wake up the same with a midwest glaze
resenting those who escape
and awarding those who stagnate

good old boys with loose jowls
turkey neck
vietnam vet,
jimmy rigging shit like a trainset
built by schizophrenics living in they moms basement
take meds and breathe deeply
eyeballs look noided completely
that awkward moment when you lie down with another person
and you remember how to feel totally alone
a million acres of corn and roadkill



don’t get old and die like that
just go live the fucking dream
it doesn’t matter how hard it is
living dreams are worth some pain


this is alchemy with nothing but a
fake name
this is alchemy with nothing but
a screen